The Beautiful Butterfly

Just about everyone knows that life is getting harder and people are becoming wearier as the bad todays turn into worse tomorrows. People are abusive and it is seen in many of the young people today,

When a person comes from an abusive home, they carry much baggage around as they are growing, and by the time they become adults, a very large suitcase is needed. The contents in that suitcase are the very real damages of broken and abusive homes. There are all kinds of labels for each behavior. Low self-esteem, cruelty in different ways, no love to give, and the list goes on and on for an eternity.

Have no doubts, they seem to know they are in some way damaged goods and not suitable for any type of life that might give them happiness and peace of mind. There is no need to talk about living in an abusive home because everyone that resided in that situation knows all the common threads that patch their lives together, gives them a warped sense of humor and an outlook on life that cannot be understood by someone that has not been there.

This ugly little green caterpillar was afraid of everything and always imagined the worst of things. She was not sure how that came to be, but she only knew that’s how it was. This ugly caterpillar shared a house with a mother, and four siblings. Her bedroom was in the attic and a chimney ran straight through the middle of the space. Her sister slept on one side of the room and she slept on the other. There was a window in the wall between their beds and there was a huge oak tree in the neighbor’s yard, which they only knew as an acorn tree because of all the acorns that fell throughout their  yard. In the summer it provided shade for their swings and that was nice, and at night it looked like a fluffy cloud that gently swayed from side to side as if it were dancing. The ugly green caterpillar loved watching the dance until she drifted gently off to sleep.

In the winter it was a totally different scene on the ceiling of that room. At night in the winter the limbs were bare and when the cold wind blew, the branches looked like crooked arms that danced wildly across the ceiling from her sister’s side to hers. She remembers staring at the ceiling for what seemed an eternity, with eyes wide open and remembering the Wizard of Oz with scenes of the flying monkeys. Oh, this little green caterpillar just knew that those horrible monkeys were going to get her and hurt her in some way. At night, all she could do is stare at the ceiling with eyes wide open, afraid to close them lest they come and grab her and take her far away from home. Her heart would beat hard and fast while she shook from head to toe. She remained that way until her eyes would close, heavy with sleep, and too weighed down to stay open, then sleep came only to bring on nightmares of what her thoughts had been just a short time ago.

This caterpillar used to speak very softly, hardly above a whisper and she remembers the caterpillars always getting closer to her and turning their heads’ always trying to hear her better.  She does remember the teacher always saying, “What? What did you say? Speak up; I can’t hear what you are saying.” It was quite embarrassing because everyone was looking at her and they laughed which made her even more embarrassed. Sometimes she’d wonder if she would ever live through some of those days; always wishing she could just disappear into thin air never to be seen again. She had no idea just about everyone goes through something in their childhood that was embarrassing in some way. Many nights she would cry herself to sleep, but no one else could hear her.

When the green caterpillar grew to be a teenager, she fared no better. She didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. She managed to make a few friends but she’d lose friends as soon as she made them but never knew why.

She was good at sports and swimming and was able to beat everyone in her class at all the sports and the gymnastics we did. No one liked her because of that either. She just happened to be better at sports than anything else and enjoyed them immensely. That little gal loved going to gym class and it was the only class in which she consistently earned an A. It was an A in all her physical education classes throughout her school years. By her teens she had learned to speak louder than she did when she was a bit smaller, but it still wasn’t loud enough because people had to still ask her what she just said, and besides that, she still stuck out like a sore thumb.

There was no sense of style and was lost in a sea of young adults not knowing how to behave since they all were lost and trying to find themselves within this sea of teens. Oh well, she graduated finally and now she thought that she would suddenly fit in somewhere that she didn’t fit in so far. Still, she was not comfortable in life or even in her own skin. She wanted out of the house. She wanted to be on her own. Her parents took a look at her fingernails and said, “No, you’re not quite ready yet.” That’s all they said, “You’re not ready yet.”

It was then that this little green caterpillar went into a cocoon and hid, because here she finally felt she was in a safe place to hide from life. Safely tucked away in this cocoon she knew she was safe to try and make changes. She was changing daily, and hoped that she would fare better in life than she had so far. She wanted to be liked by everyone. While in that cocoon she would daydream about how she wanted to be. At night she would think of how she could be better and these thoughts consumed her while she was in that cocoon all by herself.

That little green caterpillar, which had seen herself as being ugly, and unwanted, had gone into a cocoon to hide and hoped she would change. Instead of feeling angry all the time, she became calm, and stayed that way as she silently began to work inside that cocoon. Once she felt that she was changing into something else, she relaxed and began to feel much better.

Not too much time had gone by before a male butterfly began a conversation with her through the cocoon wall and in a very short time, he just swept her off her many feet. She knew that something was different. She knew that she already made some changes and felt that she was still making changes just how big those changes were; was yet to be seen.

But she had no idea exactly how big those changes had become and actually no one was quite ready for her to come out of the cocoon; and she was in for the biggest surprise of all. She suddenly felt it was time to leave the cocoon for good. Besides, it was getting a little crowded in there since she had grown a little more than she expected to. She was going to step outside but discovered she had no feet anymore. She started to cry, but when she went to wipe the tears away, she noticed that she had huge, thin flaps of material where some of her feet used to be.

When she moved them fast, she wasn’t on the branch anymore. It was raining but that didn’t bother her, she thought this was great fun and oh how much easier it was to fly than coordinate all those legs and feet.

When she got tired enough to stop, she landed on a flower and she saw her reflection in a drop of water on the flower. By golly, she was no longer ugly but had turned into a beautiful butterfly. She could now see color, no longer were things just black and white. She could now actually see colors; what a beautiful sight. That good looking thing that swept her off her many feet had been patiently waiting for her to come out of the cocoon.

He still had a power over her, and since it was such a powerful attraction, they flew away together. This proves that with lots of work, time, and thought, the suitcase can get lighter until one day it disappears.


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