There really is nothing about belonging to this particular group of outliers that is worth mentioning or bragging about except for the fact that they are thieves in the vilest sense of the word. I must add my voice to the growing number of men and women who have unwittingly supported this particular group of outliers. The outliers within this group are vicious in light of their ability to hook women so they can convince these women of their faithful and undying love in the shortest possible amount of time.
My own curiosity led me into the troubled waters with one who has mastered the art of scamming. This is where my own lack of self-worth snapped shut the trap that has held me captive for three years while he has fed me continuously a special diet mixed with lies and poisonous words of love. Even now I struggle to break free from this life of poison that is filled with incredibly soft-spoken words of love. This continuous diet of love and lies puts a person in a dilemma. While these opposing views did trouble me, he did a lot of good for me emotionally. Hence the dilemma.
It began on Facebook. It wasn’t long at all when he contacted me with some friendly words which were actually a welcome hook that he cast out to catch widows from that vast ocean of women who are divorced or widowed, and it was me who took the bait this time. I say this time because there is no way he is an amateur but this man has cast his hook plenty of times before. For he is a polished criminal who has taken plenty of time to study people, especially women. He has learned how to listen to them, read them very carefully, and then write his own ticket for his desired wages.
He and hundreds of others like him know just from listening to what is said what women want and need to hear. It appeared to me that he knew me better than many people who have known me for years. He knew exactly what I needed to hear, and then he simply sweetened my life with his poisonous words and I was his. Even though I put my trust in him, I had nagging doubts about him being real from the beginning. I also listened intently to each thing he said, and many of the things he told me I checked out myself. I caught him in several lies but made excuses for him and told myself that he must have meant or said something different. With his words of love, I became disoriented beyond the point of being able to distinguish the truth from the lies and I could not say with any certainty which of his words were true, or which of his words were false. Yet I listened intently to what he said too and gained as much knowledge of him as he did of me.
Any woman who has been scammed can probably identify and acknowledge some of the same feelings whether they voice it or not. “He just swept me off of my feet. He picked me up out of the deep black hole I had seen before, he dusted me off, he stood me on my feet, and then on a pedestal and convincingly offered me exclusive devotion, and undying love for an eternity. He built me up and he told me things I needed to hear. He told me I was beautiful, intelligent, valuable, and to be honored. He brought me hope, self-confidence, knowledge and understanding of myself. He made me believe that I was worthy of being loved, a woman whose life mattered.” What woman would not fall in love with a man that made her feel so special? I personally am not ashamed of how I basked in those badly needed words of love at a time that I needed them. (The dilemma)
This is a two-edged sword to say the least. Life plays tug of war with our hearts. Elation is in one direction and disappointment in the other. Trying to recover from this heart-breaking trauma we feel as if it is three steps forward (he stole from me)) and back three (but he loves me) and it continues until we finally see them for what they really are. They are vile thieves who have no conscience.
He did sweep me off my feet and that was no secret; for my love for him was obvious to those few that knew about him. He has a thick accent and was supposed to have been born in the US but he said that his accent was because his family lived in Switzerland for the first ten years of his life. I kept on listening to the things he said, and when I found something a little out of the ordinary such as strange wording of his sentences, things he didn’t know about the states, things that didn’t sound quite right, or things I knew were an out-right lie I put them either in my journal or wrote a story that he would never see, but they were always in the back of my mind. Each time we have had a fight, it’s been the same one. I believe he is scamming me. I believed it yesterday, I believe it today, and I will still believe it tomorrow. You may wonder if I knew these things, why did I stay so long? (For three years and four months) And why did I let him rob me of so much? ($41,000)
They are COWARDS in every sense of the word and YES, I said cowards. They hide behind those poisonous words of love and do not even deny what you accuse them of. They are evasive when you ask them questions while they try to change the subject. When they do decide to give an answer because you keep asking until they do give an answer which is vague. Their words are empty leaving your questions unanswered which just adds insult to injury. Then they wonder why you don’t trust them and they even act indignant at any suggestion that they’ve not been anything but honest with you.
It was his words filled with poison. It was his wonderful words I’ve never heard coming from any man and directed at me before not even from my late husband of thirty years. His words are pure poison. Any woman who has been taken in the same way will probably say the same thing. “His words have never been spoken to me before and in such a manner. They made me feel good, better than I’ve ever felt. They gave me confidence in myself that I was a person that was loveable. I wasn’t just an old lady, he made me feel alive and young again he made me feel as if I were a valuable woman.”
I am most to be pitied that I needed such a man to make me see worth in myself. He made me feel good and robbed me while he was doing that.
It’s OK. He was right when he told me that I let him make me fall in love with him and he was right when he said that I also gave him permission to sweep me off my feet, lest he wouldn’t have been able to do. He wasn’t holding a gun to my head. In a way he is right, but I do have to say that he knew I would be easy to fool.
For some unknown reason I believe that in some ways he did look out and protect me from some things, but I do see through those ploys too. While he did protect me from certain things, each one of them served his own selfish purpose of making his desired wages. We both gained something from this relationship We both grew some. (The dilemma)
He wanted us to talk because he knew something was wrong, he always knew. When we began to talk, it all came out again. Everything I had been thinking about for the past few years. It had been building up inside and again I could no longer keep silent. I said a lot of things. I told him that his accent was Nigerian, and that he lives there. I reminded him that I’ve had shadows of doubt that nagged at me almost all the time. It’s all coming back to me. The very first fight we had was because of me feeling he was scamming me. I believe this was the third fight we’ve had about this. I told him I no longer believed his stories. The words I spoke to him were the truth and I’m truly not sorry I said them because it disheartens me that I am still caught within the dilemma.
I get angry at myself for being tangled within this mess where common sense and feelings happen to be the very dilemma that all their victims suffer. While I suspected all along that he was stealing from me I did feel that it was only money that he took from me; Even as I am writing this, my mind is telling me that he just takes people’s money, cares nothing for them, feels no shame and will show no remorse when he is caught.
I really don’t owe him a thing and neither do you. He or she doesn’t care for you or about you in any way. Not only do scammers not care about you, but they do not care how you get the money. They just want you to keep on sending it. They are good at what they do and what is it that they do? They make women fall in love with them and shortly begin to ask money from them through many excuses. I did and I still do believe that cares for me in some way and could not fake it but they can and do, and that is something I know in my heart because I can act convincingly too, I’ve done it many times in my past. Even common sense has continually told me that if I can act convincingly so can others and many do.